ASHCROFT

ASHCROFT

General Ashcroft is visiting an elementary school in late 2003. After the typical civics presentation to the class, he announces, "All right, boys and girls, you can all ask me questions now."

A young boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, "I have three questions:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?"

Just then the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground. Fifteen minutes later, the kids come back in class and again. Ashcroft says, "I'm sorry we were interrupted by the bell. Now, you can all ask me questions."

A young girl named Charlene raises her hand and says, "I have five questions:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?
4. Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early?
5. Where's Bobby?

Mexico & Titanic

FOR ALL OF YOU THAT WONDERED....

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost! The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th . . . and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

THERE IS NO CHAIR

THERE IS NO CHAIR
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

A week later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"