I came across this posting in AOL.
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Hey, we're pretty easy customers to please. We don't get wacky with special order demands, and always tip pretty darned well. Still, we can't help wishing a few restaurants trends were permanently off the menu. Read on for our thoughts on daily specials, bottled water and the ubiquity of freshly ground black pepper.
Recitation of the Specials
Would it really be so hard to print it out or write it on a board? That way we'd actually remember if the beet 'n chive compote came with the lamb or the duck, and wouldn't have to feel like such a stingy nincompoop for asking the server to say the price out loud.
I'm Sorry, We Just Sold the Last One
Yet you taunted us with the five-minute description just now?
Bottled Water Up-selling
Putting aside the negative environmental impact of all that excess glass & plastic, are restaurateurs implying that the H20 they're using to cleanse the veggies and cook the pasta issomehow sub-palatable, or are they just trying to dunk the customer? We'd rather splash our cash on desserts and apps than pour it out on something that should just flow freely from the tap.
Up-selling In General
While we're certainly sympathetic to waitstaff who, due to the untenable circumstance of sub-minimum wage base pay, rely on percentage-based tips, but really -- if we wanted to start with an appetizer, we would have ordered one.
Every Ingredient
"Organic Peruvian Tangelo Seared Aged Newark Wildebeest on a Bed of Wilted Gowanus Farms Pre-Natal Endive" - We're loco for locavorism and super-psychedfor sustainable organic farming, but it doesn't taste any better just 'cause we know the name of our tenderloin's first cousin and where it went to summer camp.
The 'Tini Suffix
Flirtini. Chocotini. PB&Jtini. Just 'cause it's in the V-shaped glass does not a martini make it. Certainly we're huge fans of the mixological madmen shaking up Lavender Wonderbread Fizzes and Cranberry Clorox Collinses at our favorite gastro-boites, but if there's anything other than gin*, vermouth and an olive or a twistin the glass, it may be a drink, or even a cocktail, but it ain't a 'Tini. (We blame Sex and the City, but that's a whole 'nother story.)
Would You Like Freshly Ground Black Pepper On That?
No. No we wouldn't. And you're scaring us with that Louisville Slugger of a spice grinder.
Trios & Duos
"Heirloom Pork Prepared Two Ways with a Roulette of Seasonal Carrots"
Is the chef hedging his bets? Did he or she run short of some critical ingredient and have to go halvsies? Oneof the bunch is bound to outshine the other, making you wish you'd gotten a stab at a full-sized portion of that instead.
Over-pouring
Attentive service is certainly something to be celebrated, but the slow 'n steady sippers among us are kinda getting corked when we're sharing a bottle of wine with someone who's quicker on the chug than us. If our servers would just give us a chance to catch up instead of topping off after every couple of sips, the whole party might stand a chance of staying sober through dessert.
Prix Fixe Only
We're all for putting our palates in the hands of a capable chef, but do we have to fork over our wallets as well? Prix fixe meals can be a great supplement to an a la carte menu. However,for sharing a meal with folks of far-ranging tastes (not to mention budgets), the inflexibility is often more an ordeal than a deal.
Expensive After-Dinner Tea and Coffee
We get that this stuff isn't free, but when we look over the tab and see that the no-frills cup o' joe guzzled up $6 bucks, we tend to get a teensy bit "tea-ed" off. For that, we could have gone for a Grande Mocha-Choca Ya-Ya Latte at the BigBucks down the street.
Would it really be so hard to print it out or write it on a board? That way we'd actually remember if the beet 'n chive compote came with the lamb or the duck, and wouldn't have to feel like such a stingy nincompoop for asking the server to say the price out loud.
I'm Sorry, We Just Sold the Last One
Yet you taunted us with the five-minute description just now?
Bottled Water Up-selling
Putting aside the negative environmental impact of all that excess glass & plastic, are restaurateurs implying that the H20 they're using to cleanse the veggies and cook the pasta issomehow sub-palatable, or are they just trying to dunk the customer? We'd rather splash our cash on desserts and apps than pour it out on something that should just flow freely from the tap.
Up-selling In General
While we're certainly sympathetic to waitstaff who, due to the untenable circumstance of sub-minimum wage base pay, rely on percentage-based tips, but really -- if we wanted to start with an appetizer, we would have ordered one.
Every Ingredient
"Organic Peruvian Tangelo Seared Aged Newark Wildebeest on a Bed of Wilted Gowanus Farms Pre-Natal Endive" - We're loco for locavorism and super-psychedfor sustainable organic farming, but it doesn't taste any better just 'cause we know the name of our tenderloin's first cousin and where it went to summer camp.
The 'Tini Suffix
Flirtini. Chocotini. PB&Jtini. Just 'cause it's in the V-shaped glass does not a martini make it. Certainly we're huge fans of the mixological madmen shaking up Lavender Wonderbread Fizzes and Cranberry Clorox Collinses at our favorite gastro-boites, but if there's anything other than gin*, vermouth and an olive or a twistin the glass, it may be a drink, or even a cocktail, but it ain't a 'Tini. (We blame Sex and the City, but that's a whole 'nother story.)
Would You Like Freshly Ground Black Pepper On That?
No. No we wouldn't. And you're scaring us with that Louisville Slugger of a spice grinder.
Trios & Duos
"Heirloom Pork Prepared Two Ways with a Roulette of Seasonal Carrots"
Is the chef hedging his bets? Did he or she run short of some critical ingredient and have to go halvsies? Oneof the bunch is bound to outshine the other, making you wish you'd gotten a stab at a full-sized portion of that instead.
Over-pouring
Attentive service is certainly something to be celebrated, but the slow 'n steady sippers among us are kinda getting corked when we're sharing a bottle of wine with someone who's quicker on the chug than us. If our servers would just give us a chance to catch up instead of topping off after every couple of sips, the whole party might stand a chance of staying sober through dessert.
Prix Fixe Only
We're all for putting our palates in the hands of a capable chef, but do we have to fork over our wallets as well? Prix fixe meals can be a great supplement to an a la carte menu. However,for sharing a meal with folks of far-ranging tastes (not to mention budgets), the inflexibility is often more an ordeal than a deal.
Expensive After-Dinner Tea and Coffee
We get that this stuff isn't free, but when we look over the tab and see that the no-frills cup o' joe guzzled up $6 bucks, we tend to get a teensy bit "tea-ed" off. For that, we could have gone for a Grande Mocha-Choca Ya-Ya Latte at the BigBucks down the street.
And now your favorite Restaurant's Servers Strike Back......
DON'T TALK DOWN TO ME
Quote: "I hate when customers speak down to me like I am a teenager/20-something because I look young. I am 30 years old, and have been serving food for 20 years."
"For those of you who think servers are stupid, ignorant, or somehow below you in class or social standing, etc., let me just say that I am far classier than most people I served. Most of the people I worked with were extremely classy individuals as well. Money does not equal class."
PLEASE DON'T CAMP OUT
Quote: "When it's closing time, please GET OUT. How would you like it if someone came to your office five minutes before you closed and kept you there an extra two hours?"
"Remember that every minute you occupy one of our tables is affecting our income for the night. If you sit for two additional hours chatting after settling up and drinking water, consider compensating us for that time, especially since most good servers will continue to check up on you and refill those sodas and waters. If you buy drinks at the bar and then move to our tables and just sit talking, remember that table represents our livelihood. The longer you sit not tipping us, the less our hourly rate comes out to at the end of the night. Many servers only get between two and five tables to earn off during a shift. If they lose one for a couple of hours to "campers", as we call them, it can make a big impact at the end of the shift."
Quote: "I hate when customers speak down to me like I am a teenager/20-something because I look young. I am 30 years old, and have been serving food for 20 years."
"For those of you who think servers are stupid, ignorant, or somehow below you in class or social standing, etc., let me just say that I am far classier than most people I served. Most of the people I worked with were extremely classy individuals as well. Money does not equal class."
PLEASE DON'T CAMP OUT
Quote: "When it's closing time, please GET OUT. How would you like it if someone came to your office five minutes before you closed and kept you there an extra two hours?"
"Remember that every minute you occupy one of our tables is affecting our income for the night. If you sit for two additional hours chatting after settling up and drinking water, consider compensating us for that time, especially since most good servers will continue to check up on you and refill those sodas and waters. If you buy drinks at the bar and then move to our tables and just sit talking, remember that table represents our livelihood. The longer you sit not tipping us, the less our hourly rate comes out to at the end of the night. Many servers only get between two and five tables to earn off during a shift. If they lose one for a couple of hours to "campers", as we call them, it can make a big impact at the end of the shift."
WE DON'T LIKE RECITING THE SPECIALS, BUT...
Quote: "We used to have our specials typed up on a separate piece of paper that was on the table when the guests sat. 95% of the time, the guests did not see it, or did not care to read it.It is well known that a guest will be more interested in ordering a special when they hear it from the servers mouth."
"Do you REALLY think I want to stand there and recite 10 specials to you, only to have you say "What was the third thing you said?"
"No one pays attention to special boards."
IF YOU CAN'T TIP, DON'T EAT OUT
Quote: "Oh and here's a little tip for those of you who don't know: we don't just want tips for our pocket, we want 'em for the food that Uncle Sam taxes US to feed you. That's right, I get taxed for what I sell. So if you order a huge meal, and then sheepishly tell me that you're sorry but you just don't have enough for a tip, I may smile and say, "That's ok, just get me next time." (Which is exactly what I do.) But inside I'm thanking you for giving me the privilage of paying for part of your meal, and for working for you for free. I'm sure my kids will too."
"Does anyone realize what a waitress/waiter gets paid an HOUR!?!? I work in a restaurant that is like Eat n Park. Make ALMOST $3.00 an hour for wages, but HAVE to pay TAXES on $4.35 an hour! If I do not "bust my butt" and try to get AT LEAST 15% TIP from a table, I am LOSING money!"
JUST TREAT ME LIKE A PERSON
Quote: "I think that a lot of people might really be ashamed of themselves if they could witness their own behavior. for some reason, it has become socially acceptable to treat waitstaff like indentured servants. People should just stop, take away all the tangents and remember that they are dealing with a PERSON, with feelings. It truly is amazing to see how people act, especially when they don't realize they are being watched (or worse yet, when they knowthey have an audience)."
"People seem to totally forget themselves. I have an aunt who is a pretty cool person, until she walks into a restaurant. Is there a sub-culture that gets some secret, subconscious thrill from being able to put themselves on apedastal above another person, just because that person is literally depending on YOU for their very livelihood? Some of the behaviors I have witnessed from restaurant guests is reprehensible, and if some people would stop to chill out and listen to themselves for a minute, they might truly be ashamed."
TAPPED OUT
Quote: "Just so you know, the bottled water service is not meant to rip the money out of your wallets, but a precaution we must take because believe it or not, there ARE people out there who refuse to drink tap water."
"I live in Georgia, and since we are in a drought, it is required by law that I offer you bottled water!"
" As a server I am required -- REQUIRED! -- to ask you if you would prefer bottled or tap water, or I will lose my job. Why? Because some bozos atthe head office ran a report that says the customer will purchase bottled water 75% of the time when I offer it. We all should know that companies are about making money -- which the mark-up on bottled water obviously does."
UP-SELLING IS MANDATORY
Quote: "I'll let you in on a little secret -- we have meetings on up-selling and suggestive selling, and yes we have to go and listen to someone explain the importance of upselling for 2 hours at the butt crack of dawn on a Saturday. Sounds fun doesn't it?"
"All of the restaurants I have ever worked in require the servers to not only up-sell (for example, from tap to bottled water) but also require that they offer specific appetizers, desserts, and alcoholicbeverages. And the consequences for not doing these things can be anything from getting a "bad" section to being fired."
I'M BEING WATCHED
Quote: "At our restaurant (and most other high end major restaurants) we have what we call a shopper. This person basically grades us on our job, without us knowing, and we have to hit several key points. For example, if a couple of people at a table ask for the same glass of wine, we must offer a bottle. And we must tell you about a feature that is off the menu. We must offer cracked pepper. If we do not do this, we are reprimanded and maybe even have some good shifts taken away until you can prove that you are a quality server.
"Anybody can be a secret shopper. If these aren't met the server can be fired on the first offense. think about that next time you think the server might be helping too much. They are not just trying to make more money they also trying to save their job."
PLEASE WATCH YOUR KIDS
Quote: "We would not need to use the sweepers or brooms on the floors, if you and your kids did not act like pigs, throwing everything on the floor, just because you don't have to clean it up!"
"We get tiredof people that allow their kids to throw food everywhere and behave like little animals simply because they don't have to clean it all up (for that big two dollar tip no less)."
"I clean up after kids that are monsters (even puke!). How can you takethem out and let them act like that?"
Please do not let your children run around the restaurant. It's dangerous. Waitresses come by with big heavy trays filled with hot food, and she can't always see a small child.
DEALING WITH CHANGE
(Note - in our blog comments, servers asking if change is needed was the most common customer complaint.)
Quote: "I don't understand the gripes about asking if you need change. I work at a restaurant andif someone has cash (and most of the time I don't know because our checks are in books) I can't read your mind if you have a twenty or a hundred in there and I am not going to look until I get to the register, because it's rude. I ask becausesome people do not need change and get offended if I don't ask. So if you need change say so."
"Many places do not require severs to carry cash on them, SO if you do need change we have to go to the bartender, wait for him/her to see me, wait to give him/her the cash, then wait for it to be returned to me (many times the bartender is busy so this can take several minutes) only to go BACK to your table and have you say "Oh it's for you." I could have helped other tables or done another tasks and could get that change later or at the end of the night. It is NOT our way of asking for a better tip! It is our way of saying "Do you need me to come back to this table anymore?"
WE'RE NOT THE COOKS
Quote: "We did not cook your food. We only brought it to you. It is okay, if the food is not to your satisfaction, for you to tell us this, and we will bring you something else. But please remember we are not COOKS, we are servers."
"A restaurant is not a McDonalds. Our food is not cooked ahead of time so please allow ample time. Most of our food is cooked to order. If your food comes out and its not satisfactory, please tell your waitress. It is her job to take it back and get you what you want, but keep in mind that she didn't cook the food so there is no reason to be nasty about it."
"If you order something well done, duh, it's going to take longer."
We'd like to note that many of the restaurant employees who responded in the blog comments seem to really, truly enjoy their profession and the customers they encounter, and feel that it's just a small minority of patrons who behave badly. Since both sides have had their say, perhaps we all might be more considerate of each others' needs while dining.
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